The Binge

I have struggled with bingeing and purging for a long time, I remember the first time I purged I thought it was the stupidest thing in the world why would I throw up my food if I just ate it? I remember sitting over the toilet thinking why am I doing this, I never though it would be a problem until I realized I could eat anything I wanted I would just have to purge and then it would be like I never ate it. This happened all through out my freshman year of college sometimes I would come home earlier from a part just so I could eat. Food was on my mind all the time. I was very unhealthy emotionally and physically. I remember one time I ate a whole gallon of ice cream, a half a box of cereal, cookie, Luna Bars and any other odd ends I could find if I was in my fridge it was going to be eatten. Then feeling so disgusted in myself I would purge. Last night I binged. really bad. I haven't eaten fast food in over a year until this week. I had 3 different fast food restaurants i started out with Wendy's chicken nuggests then went to mcdonalds for chicken nuggets (so I could compare the two) yea right. Then I went to arbys and got a roast beef and fries. The whole time I was doing it I was thinking why am I doing this? but then when your bingeing everything goes numb. It wasn't even good looking back on it, and defiantly not worth it. Im making a promise to myself to never binge again. and going to actually keep it this time.